Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Being Happy

After years of hard & dedicated service to his Company, Ajay was being appointed at an elegant reception as the new Director.

It was a small function where his wife Anita , a Home Executive & some of the wives of the other persons in top management were also present.

In an adjacent room, Ann, the wife of the CEO of the Company, asked Ajay's wife a very odd & usual question; "Does your husband make you happy?"

The husband, Ajay, who at that moment was not at her side, but was sufficiently near to hear the question, paid attention to the conversation, sitting up slightly, feeling secure, even filling his chest lightly in pride & hope, would definitely not publically lower or degrade her husband, would answer affirmatively, since she had always been there for him during their marriage and generally in life.

Nevertheless, to both his & the others' surprise, she replied simply; "No, no he doesn't make me happy…"

The room became uncomfortably silent, as if everyone were listening to the spouse's response. There was a sudden coldness in the air. The husband was petrified. A frown appeared on his face.
He couldn't believe what his wife was saying, especially at such an important occasion for him. To the amazement of her husband & of everyone!

Anita sat up firmly & explained in a modest but stern tone to the other wives who were present;
"No, he doesn't make me happy… I AM HAPPY. The fact that I am happy or not doesn't depend on him, but on me. GOD has granted each of us intellect & discretion to reason, interpret & decide. GOD made me the person upon which my happiness depends.

I make the choice to be happy in each situation & in each moment of my life.
If my happiness were to depend on other people, on other things or circumstances on the face of this earth, I would be in serious trouble!

Over my life I have learned a couple of things: I decide to be happy & the rest is a matter of 'experiences or circumstances' like helping, understanding, accepting, listening, consoling & with my spouse, I have lived & practiced this many times.

Honestly true happiness lies in being content"

Relieved & reassured, a smile was clearly noticed on Ajay's face.

Happiness will always be found in contentment, forgiveness & in loving ourselves & others.
To truly love is difficult, it is to forgive unconditionally, to live, to take the "experiences or circumstances" as they are, facing them together & being happy with conviction.

There are those who say I cannot be happy :
· Because I am sick.
· Because I have no money.
· Because it's too cold.
· Because they insulted me.
· Because someone stopped loving me.
· Because someone didn't appreciate me.

But what they don't know is that they can be happy even though sick, whether it is too hot, whether they have money or not, whether someone has insulted them, or someone didn't love or hasn't valued them.

Being Happy is an attitude about life & each one of us must decide!

Being Happy, depends on us!

It Depends on Me.
I fall. I rise. I make mistakes. I live. I learn. I've been hurt but I'm alive. I'm human. I'm not perfect but I'm Thankful.😊

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Kaliyug - lessons

Once the four Pandavas (except Yudhishthira who was not present) asked Krishna:
"What is Kaliyuga and what will happen during Kaliyuga?"
Krishna smiled and said "Let me demonstrate to you, the situation of Kaliyuga." He took a bow and four arrows and shot them in four directions and ordered the four Pandavas to go and bring them back.
Each of the four Pandavas went in the four different directions to search for the arrows. When Arjuna picked an arrow, he heard a very sweet voice. He turned around and saw a cuckoo singing in a spellbinding voice but was also eating flesh of a live rabbit which was in great pain. Arjuna was very surprised to see such a gory act by such a divine bird he left the place immediately.
Bhima picked arrow from a place, where five wells were situated. The four wells were surrounding a single well. The four wells were overflowing with very sweet water as if they were not able to hold water and surprisingly the well in the middle of these four overflowing wells was completely empty. Bhima was also puzzled at this sight.
Nakula was returning to the place after picking up the arrow. He stopped at a place where a cow was about to give birth. After giving birth the cow started licking the calf but continued to lick it even after the calf was clean. With great difficulty people were able to separate them and by that time the calf was injured badly. Nakula was puzzled by the behaviour of such a calm animal.
Sahadeva picked arrow which fell near a mountain and saw a big boulder falling. The boulder was crushing the rocks and big trees on his way down, but the same boulder was stopped by a small plant. Sahadeva was also amazed at this sight.
All the Pandavas asked the meaning of these incidents. Krishna smiled and started explaining...
"In Kaliyuga, the priests will have very sweet voice and will also have great knowledge but they will exploit devotees the same way cuckoo was doing with rabbit.
In Kaliyuga poor will live among rich, those rich will have enormous amount of wealth which will actually overflow but they will not offer a single penny to the poor same as the four wells didn't have a single drop of water for the empty well.
In Kaliyuga parents will love their children so much that their love will actually spoil them and will destroy their lives similar to the love shown by cow to her newborn calf.
In Kaliyuga people will fall in terms of character like the boulder from the mountain and they will not be stopped by anyone at the end only the name of God will be able to hold them from doom like the little plant held the boulder from further fall."

~ Uddhava Gita, Srimad Bhaagawatam

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Quirky Questions

Q. Why do men's clothes have buttons on the right while women's clothes have buttons on the left?

A. When buttons were invented, they were very expensive and worn primarily by the rich. Since most people are right-handed, it is easier to push buttons on the right through holes on the left. Because wealthy women were dressed by maids, dressmakers put the buttons on the maid's right! And that's where women's buttons have remained since.

Q. Why do ships and aircraft use 'mayday' as their call for help?

A. This comes from the French word m'aidez - meaning 'help me' - and is pronounced approximately, 'mayday.'

Q. Why are zero scores in tennis called 'love'?

A. In France , where tennis became popular, round zero on the scoreboard looked like an egg and was called 'l'oeuf,' which is French for 'egg.' When tennis was introduced in the US , Americans (mis)pronounced it 'love.'

Q. Why do X's at the end of a letter signify kisses?

A. In the Middle Ages, when many people were unable to read or write, documents were often signed using an X. Kissing the X represented an oath to fulfill obligations specified in the document. The X and the kiss eventually became synonymous.

Q. Why is shifting responsibility to someone else called 'passing the buck'?

A. In card games, it was once customary to pass an item, called a buck, from player to player to indicate whose turn it was to deal. If a player did not wish to assume the responsibility of dealing, he would 'pass the buck' to the next player.

Q. Why do people clink their glasses before drinking a toast?

A. It used to be common for someone to try to kill an enemy by offering him a poisoned drink. To prove to a guest that a drink was safe, it became customary for a guest to pour a small amount of his drink into the glass of the host. Both men would drink it simultaneously. When a guest trusted his host, he would only touch or clink the host's glass with his own.

Q. Why are people in the public eye said to be 'in the limelight'?

A. Invented in 1825,limelight was used in lighthouses and theatres by burning a cylinder of lime which produced a brilliant light. In the theatre, a performer 'in the limelight' was the center of attention.

Q. Why is someone who is feeling great 'on cloud nine'?

A. Types of clouds are numbered according to the altitudes they attain, with nine being the highest cloud If someone is said to be on cloud nine, that person is floating well above worldly cares.

Q. In golf, where did the term 'Caddie' come from?

A. When Mary Queen of Scots went to France as a young girl, Louis, King of France, learned that she loved the Scots game 'golf.' So he had the first course outside of Scotland built for her enjoyment. To make sure she was properly chaperoned (and guarded) while she played, Louis hired cadets from a military school to accompany her.

Mary liked this a lot and when returned to Scotland (not a very good idea in the long run), she took the practice with her. In French, the word cadet is pronounced 'ca-day' and the Scots changed it into 'caddie.

Q. Why are many coin banks shaped like pigs?

A. Long ago, dishes and cookware in Europe were made of a dense orange clay called 'pygg'. When people saved coins in jars made of this clay, the jars became known as 'pygg banks.' When an English potter misunderstood the word, he made a container that resembled a pig. And it caught on.

Q. Did you ever wonder why dimes, quarters and half dollars have notches (milling), while pennies and nickels do not?

A. The US Mint began putting notches on the edges of coins containing gold and silver to discourage holders from shaving off small quantities of the precious metals. Dimes, quarters and half dollars are notched because they used to contain silver. Pennies and nickels aren't notched because the metals they contain are not valuable enough to shave.

Saturday, December 10, 2016

Bhagwad Gita - one sentence per chapter

*Chapter 1*

_Wrong thinking is the only problem in life_

*Chapter 2*

_Right knowledge is the ultimate solution to all our problems_

*Chapter 3*

_Selflessness is the only way to progress & prosperity_

*Chapter 4*

_Every act can be an act of prayer_

*Chapter 5*

_Renounce the ego of individuality & rejoice in the bliss of infinity_

*Chapter 6*

_Connect to the Higher consciousness daily_

*Chapter 7*

_Live what you learn_

*Chapter 8*

_Never give up on yourself_

*Chapter 9*

_Value your blessings_

*Chapter 10*

_See divinity all around_

*Chapter 11*

_Have enough surrender to see the Truth as it is_

*Chapter 12*

_Absorb your mind in the Higher_

*Chapter 13*

_Detach from Maya (Ego)& attach to Divine_

*Chapter 14*

_Live a lifestyle that matches your vision_

*Chapter 15*

_Give priority to Divinity_

*Chapter 16*

_Being good is a reward in itself_

*Chapter 17*

_Choosing the right over the pleasant is a sign of power_

*Chapter 18*

_Let Go, Lets move to union with God_

Thursday, November 3, 2016

What is spiritual maturity?

1. Spiritual Maturity is *when you stop trying to change others, ...instead focus on changing yourself.*

2. Spiritual Maturity is when you
*accept people as they are.*

3. Spiritual Maturity is when you
*understand everyone is right in their own perspective.*

4. Spiritual Maturity is when you
*learn to "let go".*

5. Spiritual Maturity is when you are able to *drop "expectations" from a relationship and give for the sake of giving.*

6. Spiritual Maturity is when you
*understand whatever you do, you do for your own peace.*

7. Spiritual Maturity is when you *stop proving to the world, how intelligent you are.*

8. Spiritual Maturity is when you *don't seek approval from others.*

9. Spiritual Maturity is when you *stop comparing with others.*

10. Spiritual Maturity is when you *are at peace with yourself.*

11. Spiritual Maturity is when you *are able to differentiate between "need" and "want" and are able to let go of your wants.*
*& last but most meaningful !*

12. You gain Spiritual Maturity when you *stop attaching "happiness" to material things !!*

Monday, September 12, 2016

Essence of human life

💖Essence of Human Life💖

An Emperor was coming out of his Palace for his morning walk where he met a Beggar. He asked the Beggar, "What do you want?"

The beggar laughed and said, "You are asking me as though you can fulfill my desire!"

The king was offended. He said, "Of course I can fulfill your desire. What is it? Just tell me."

And the beggar said, "Think twice before you promise anything."

The Beggar was no ordinary beggar, he was the Emperor's past life Master. He had promised in that life, "I will come and try to wake you in your next life. This life you have missed but I will come again."

But the king had forgotten completely -- who remembers past lives? So he insisted, "I will fulfill anything you ask. I am a very powerful emperor, what can you possibly desire that I cannot give to you?"

The beggar said, "It is a very simple desire. You see this begging bowl? Can you fill it with something?"

The emperor said, "Of course!" He called one of his vazirs and told him, "Fill this man's begging bowl with money." The vazir went and got some money and poured it into the bowl, and it disappeared. And he poured more and more, and the moment he would pour it, it would disappear. And the begging bowl remained always empty.

The whole palace gathered. By and by, the rumor went throughout the whole capital, and a huge crowd gathered. The prestige of the emperor was at stake. He said to his vazirs, "If the whole kingdom is lost, I am ready to lose it, but I cannot be defeated by this beggar."

Diamonds and pearls and emeralds, his treasuries were becoming empty. The begging bowl seemed to be bottomless. Everything that was put into it -- everything! -- immediately disappeared, went out of existence.

Finally it was the evening, and the people were standing there in utter silence. The king dropped at the feet of the beggar and admitted his defeat. he said, "Just tell me one thing. You are victorious - but before you leave, just fulfill my curiosity.

What is the begging bowl made of?"

The beggar laughed and said, "It is made up of the human mind. There is no secret. It is simply made up of human desire."

This understanding transforms life. Go into one desire -- what is the mechanism of it? First there is a great excitement, great thrill, adventure. you feel a great kick. Something is going to happen, you are on the verge of it. And then you have the car, you have the yacht, you have the house, and suddenly all is meaningless again.

What happens? Your mind has dematerialized it. The car is standing in the drive, but there is no excitement anymore. The excitement was only in getting it. You became so drunk with the desire that you forgot your inner nothingness. Now the desire is fulfilled, the car in the drive, the money in your bank account - again excitement disappears. Again the emptiness is there, ready to eat you up. Again you have to create another desire to escape this yawning abyss.

That's how one moves from one desire to another desire. That's how one remains a beggar. Your whole life proves it again and again -- every desire frustrates. And when the goal is achieved, you will need another desire.

The day you understand that desire as such is going to fail comes the turning point in your life.

💖Other journey is inwards, move inwards, come back home💖

Friday, September 2, 2016

Bullshit Bingo

How to stay awake in seminars...

Do you keep falling asleep in round-tables and seminars?
What about those long and boring conferences?

Here's a way to change all of that.

1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call, prepare yourself by drawing a square. I find that 5" x 5" is a good size. Divide the card into columns - five across and five down. That will give you 25 one-inch blocks.

2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:
* synergy
* strategic fit
* core competencies
* best practice
* bottom line
* revisit
* expeditious
* to tell you the truth (or "the truth is")
* 24/7
* out of the loop
* benchmark
* value-added
* proactive
* win-win
* think outside the box
* fast track
* result-driven
* empower (or empowerment)
* knowledge base
* at the end of the day
* touch base
* mindset
* client focus(ed)
* paradigm
* game plan
* leverage

3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases.

4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout "BULLSHIT!"

Testimonials from satisfied "Bullshit Bingo" players:

· "I had been in the meeting for only five minutes when I won." - Adam, Atlanta

· "My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically." - David, Florida

· "What a gas! Meetings will never be the same for me after my first win." - Dan, New York City

· "The atmosphere was tense in the last process meeting as 14 of us waited for the fifth box." - Ben, Denver

· "The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed 'BULLSHIT!' for the third time in two hours." - Paul, Cleveland

Enjoy your seminars n meetings.

Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Heartfullness Meditation

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Q1. What is meditation?
Meditation means to think continuously of the same thing. Meditation is time that we spend with our inner self. Meditation is a process of regulating the mind. Meditation is a process of calming the mind..

Q2. Why should we meditate?
To be able to release the stress on a daily basis, to balance professional & personal life, to give a pause to the mind & connect with our inner self.

Q3. Who can meditate?
Earlier the perception was that meditation is only meant for elderly people. However, anyone above the age of 15 years can meditate.

Q4. How do we meditate?
Sit in a comfortable position, close your eyes and start with a thought Divine light is present in your heart.

Q5. How is Heartfulness different from art of living or any other institution?
All missions are working towards helping humanity to deal with everyday life. All are doing a good job. I have experienced Heartfulness Meditation and so can talk only about its benefits. (Please refrain from giving views about other spiritual or religious practices).

Q6. Do you chant mantras or play music during meditation?
No. Only a suggestion that Divine light is present in my heart.

Q7. Why to meditate on light?
Light is the most subtle form of energy. To reach the subtlest (God) we need to meditate on subtlest.

Q8. When to meditate?
It can be done at any time of the day but should be preferably done in the morning.

Q9. What do we do during meditation?
We sit comfortably & close our eyes & do nothing. There is no physical or mental activity during meditation. Many thoughts may come to our mind during meditation we are taught not to attend but to ignore them.

Q10. How long do we have to meditate?
We can start with few mins preferably half hour & max 1 hour.

Q11. Why do we meditate on the heart?
Heart is the main organ of the body. It is the pumping station of the blood which sends out the blood after purification to different nerves and cells of the body. We take the heart as the center of meditation as purification of the heart will have an effect on refinement of the entire physical system.

Q 12. What are the benefits of meditation?
Meditation streamlines our thoughts and disciplines the mind. This helps in reducing mental stress which is the cause of various illness. Meditation helps to balance our mind and enhances spirituality. It creates an overall wellness.

Q13. Who is the guru of the system?
Shri Kamlesh D. Patel is our Guide. He is the President of our mission. But in Heartfilness Meditation practice, emphasis is more on process of Meditation.

Q 14. What is unique about Heartfulness?
The pranahuti (transmission) is the most unique aspect of this system. As body needs food to survive, Prananhuti is the food for the soul. It is transmitted by the guru into the heart of an aspirant. It removes impurities & impressions & accelerates the spiritual growth. Heart is also the seat of the soul.
Second unique aspect is cleaning. It helps to clean our samskaras.

E.g. Transmitting the inner state of the person, like when we see a child, the childs happiness automatically reflects on us, and we too become happy. In a way the child has transmitted his happiness to us.

Q15. What is samskaras?
Every action has a reaction which leave a trace in the heart. This becomes seeds for future actions. Repeated impressions forms samskaras. (Similar to karma theory) There is a need to clear the seeds so that it does not form future actions.

Q16. Will practicing Heartfulness Meditation improve my health?
Nowadays all illness are psychosomatic, that means starting from mind & then reflecting on the body. So if mind is purified, many diseases will improve considerably. But the goal of the meditation is not only improving health.

Q17. Will my problems be sorted if I practice Heartfulness?
Not necessarily. But the strength to undergo our own problems grows a great deal.

Q18 How do we start the practice?
Our trainers are available all over India and they help us in getting initiated into the system. Politely we can ask for their details (name, number, address) and then we can map them to the nearest prefect.

Q19. Are there any charges involved?
There are no charges to experience Heartfulness Meditation. It is all voluntary. We are here only to share the experience that we have felt over the years of our practice. Only competence required to start the practice is willingness.

Q20. I am following any religious or spiritual practice do I need abandon that to start this?
NO. Whatever we are doing remains the same. Along with that we can experience this also.

Q21. Time period required to feel the effectiveness of the practice?
There is no specific time period. All we can say is at least practice for 3 months heart fully.

Q22. Is there any literature available?
Lot of literature are available at our centres. And also our Heartfulness magazine can be downloaded from our website as e-books.

Q23. Is there anything for children?
We have relaxation technique for children.

Q24. What do we do during cleaning?
Sit for half an hour with a suggestion to yourself that all complexities and impurities including grossness, darkness, etc. are going out of the whole system through the back in the form of smoke or vapor, and that in their place the sacred current of the Divine is entering your heart. The evening cleaning is to be done at the end of the day, when you are done with the routine daily activities.

Q25. What is the difference between cleaning and meditation?
Meditation is a passive process, where you give a supposition that the divine light is present in the heart and wait for the feeling to emerge. Whereas cleaning is an active process, wherein you use suggestion to clean yourself.

Friday, August 26, 2016

HTDO - Hold the door open

Mathews, a hotshot sales manager, on a Sunday evening, was in the parking lot of a shopping mall. The parking lot was packed. Cars were crawling with anxious drivers looking for that one vacant slot. Mathews, sharp and aggressive as he was known to be, spotted a vacant space ahead and quickly zoomed in. He could see another car trying to reverse into the same slot, but Mathews was determined to beat the other man to it. And he did ! Mathews felt jubilant - as we all sometimes do with life's little victories. The old man driving the car was disappointed. He looked Mathews in the eye and continued his search for another parking slot.

Two days later, Mathews was preparing for one of the biggest moments of his career. He was close to winning a big contract for his company. And all that was left now was the formal handshake meeting with the client's CEO. As Mathews walked into the client's office and saw the CEO, he felt a sudden sense of discomfort. Yes, it was the same man from whom he had snatched the parking slot on Sunday. And you can guess what happened thereafter. Alas ! If only Mathews had grown up with the *HTDO* habit !

So whats HTDO ?

It has probably happened to you before. As you walk towards the door of an office, or a hotel, the person walking in front holds the door open for you. Remember how good it made you feel - if only for that moment.

Isn't it surprising that although we all feel good when someone holds the door open for us, we seldom do the same for other ? How come ?

It's probably because we are all preoccupied with ourselves and obsessed with getting ahead. Here, then, is a life-changing lesson they don't teach you in any B school - *'Hold The Door Open'*.

The world can be divided into two types of people. Those who push open a door, walk through and let it slam behind them. That's the 99% of the population. And there's the 1% who hold it open to allow the next person to walk through. Learn to do that, and you too could join the select 1% club. *HTDO* doesn't merely make other people feel good. It makes you feel good too. *HTDO* translates into a behaviour of helping and caring.

Winning in life is less about naked ambition and more about helping other people win.

Someone once said, "It's nice to be important. But it's more important to be nice"

Make a beginning. *Hold The Door Open*.

Each gives what he has

Back in the days when Germany was divided, a huge wall separated East and West Berlin. One day, some people in East Berlin took a truck load of garbage and dumped it on the West Berlin side.
The people of West Berlin could have done the same thing, but they didn't. Instead they took a truck load of canned goods, bread, milk and other provisions, and neatly stacked it on the East Berlin side.
On top of this stack they placed the sign:

*“EACH GIVES WHAT HE HAS"*

How very true! You can only give what you have.
What do you have inside of you? Is it hate or love? Violence or peace? Death or life?
What have you acquired over the years?
Is it a capacity to build or a capacity to destroy?
Is it the ability to make money or to steal money?
Is it ingenuity to develop good things that will benefit mankind or ability to bomb those good things that others have labored to build?

*"EACH GIVES WHAT HE HAS"*

Think about it!

Saturday, July 23, 2016

Cyber Weapons

https://www.schneier.com/blog/archives/2016/07/cyber_weapons_v.html

Thursday, June 30, 2016

Black Dot Test

One day a professor entered the classroom and asked his students to take a surprise test.

The professor handed out the question paper.To everyone’s surprise, there were no questions…. just a black dot in the center of the page.

The professor seeing the expression on everyone’s face, told them the following:--

“I want you to write what you see there.”

At the end of the class, the professor took all the answer papers and started reading each one of them aloud in front of all the students. All of them with no exceptions, described the black dot, trying to explain its position in the middle of the sheet, etc. etc. etc.

After all had been read, the professor began to explain:--

“I am not going to grade you on this test. I just wanted to give you something to think about. No one wrote about the white part of the paper.

Everyone focused on the black dot – and the same happens in our lives. We have a white paper to observe and enjoy, but we always focus on the dark spots. Our life is a gift given to us by God.

However we insist on focusing only on the dark spots – the health issues that bother us, the lack of money, the complicated relationship with a family member, the disappointment with a friend etc.

The dark spots are very small compared to everything we have in our lives, but they are the ones that pollute our minds.

Take your eyes away from the black spots in your life.

Please enjoy each one of your blessings, each moment that life gives you.

Sunday, June 26, 2016

Life lessons....

This is something we should all read at least once a week!!!!! Make sure you read to the end!!!!!!

Written by *Regina Brett*, 90 years old, of the Plain b Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio

To celebrate growing older, I once wrote few lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written.

1. *Life isn't fair, but it's still good.*

2. *When in doubt, just take the next small step.*

3. *Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.*

4. *You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.*

5. *Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.*

6. *It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.*

7. *Make peace with your past so it won't mess up the present.*

8. *Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.*

9. *Take a deep breath every now and then. It calms the mind.*

10. *Get rid of anything that isn't useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.*

11. *Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.*

12. *It's never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.*

13. *When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.*

14. *Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy clothes. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.*

15. *No one is in charge of your happiness but you.*

16. *Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'*

17. *Always choose life.*

18. *Forgive others and yourself.*

19. *What other people think of you is none of your business.*

20. *Time heals almost everything. Give time a little time.*

21. *However good or bad a situation is, it will change.*

22. *Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.*

23. *Believe in miracles.*

24. *God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.*

25. *Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.*

26. *Growing old beats the alternative of dying young.*

27. *Your children get only one childhood.*

28. *All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.*

29. *Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.*

30. *Envy is waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you need.*

31. *The best is yet to come...*

32. *No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.*

33. *Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."*

*Its worth reading again & again, as & when you can.*

Monday, June 20, 2016

Yoga Day 21 Jun 16

SECOND International "yog" day 2016....
21 June 2016
Time period- 33 min.

Part 1 (2 min)

श्लोक

"संगच्छध्वम संवद्यध्वम, संवो मनासी जानताम् ।
देवाभागम् यथा पूर्वे, संजानाना उपासते ।।"

Part 2 (3 min)

Warming up
(For relextion)

Neck rotation
Shoulder rotation
Hip rotation
Knee rotation
etc...

Part 3 (15 min)

A) Yogasan in standing position

1) Tadasan ताड़ासन
2) Vrukshasan वृक्षासन
3) Pad Hastsan पादहस्तासन
4) Ardhchakrasan अर्धचक्रासन
5) Trikonasan त्रिकोणासन

B) Yogasan in seating position

1) Bhadrasan भद्रासन
2) Shashankasan शशांकासन
3) Ardh ushtrasan अर्धउष्ट्रासन
4) Vkrasan वक्रासन

C) Yogasan in sleeping position (on stomach)

1) Bhujangasan भुजंगासन
2) Shalbhasan शलभासन
3) Makrasan मकरासन

D) Yogasan in sleeping position

1) Setu bandh sarvangasan सेतुबंध सर्वांगसन
2) Pawan muktasan पवन मुक्तासन
3) Shwasan शवासन

Part 4 (2 min)

Kapalbhati कपालभाति
(10-12 strocks in 3 round)

Part 5 (5 min)

Pranayaam प्राणायाम
1) Nadishodhan नाडीशोधन (5 round)
2) bhramari Pranayaam भ्रामरी प्राणायाम (5 round)

Part 6 (6 min)

Seat in any kind of Dhyan mudra

(शांभवी मुद्रा, आँखे बंद और हातों की ज्ञान मुद्रा ।)

At the time of Meditation play melodies background music.

Lastly take Sankalp
संकल्प

" हमें हमारे मन को हमेशा संतुलित रखना है। इसीमेही हमारा आत्मविकास समाया हुआ है। विश्व की ऐक्यता के लिये, स्वास्थ के लिये और शांतता के वृद्धि के लिये, विश्व के प्रति, समाज के प्रति, मेरे काम के प्रति, मेरे परिवार के प्रति और मेरे खुद केn प्रति जो कर्तव्य है मैं उन्हें पूरा करने का निश्चय करता हूँ।

Sunday, June 12, 2016

What Time Should You Sleep?

~ James Pang.

Is there a best time to sleep?

There is a saying that sleeping early and waking up early is good for your health. How true is that? Is it alright to sleep late and wake up late?

You actually have an amazing biological clock ticking inside your body. It is very precise. It helps to regulate your various body functions including your sleeping time.

From 11pm to 3am, most of your blood circulation concentrates in your liver. Your liver gets larger when filled with more blood. This is an important time when your body undergoes detoxification process. Your liver neutralizes and breaks down body toxins accumulated throughout the day.

However if you don't sleep at this time, your liver cannot carry out this detoxification process smoothly.

● If you sleep at 11pm, you have full 4 hours to detoxify your body.
● If you sleep at 12am, you have 3 hours.
● If you sleep at 1am, you have 2 hours.
● And if you sleep at 2am, you only have 1 hour to detoxify.

What if you sleep after 3am? Unfortunately, you won't have any time to actually detoxify your body.

If you continue with this sleeping pattern, these toxins will accumulate in your body over time. You know what happens next.

What if you sleep late and wake up late?

Have you tried going to bed very late at night? Did you realize you feel very tired the next day no matter how much you sleep?

Sleeping late and waking up late is indeed very bad for your health. Besides not having enough time to detoxify your body, you will miss out other important body functions too.

From 3am to 5am, most blood circulation concentrates in your lung. What should you do at this moment? Well, you should exercise and breathe in fresh air. Take in good energy into your body, preferably in a garden. At this time, the air is very fresh with lots of beneficial negative ions.

From 5am to 7am, most blood circulation concentrates in your large intestine. What should you do at this moment? You should poop ! Pass out all unwanted poop from your large intestine. Prepare your body to absorb more nutrients throughout the day.

From 7am to 9am, most blood circulation concentrates in your stomach. What should you do at this moment? Have your breakfast ! This is your most important meal in a day. Make sure you have all the required nutrients from your breakfast. Not having breakfast causes lots of health problems for you in the future.

There you are...the most ideal way to start your day.

After fully detoxifying your blood during your sleep, you wake up fresh to inhale beneficial energy. Then you pass out unwanted poop from your large intestine. After that, you take in balanced nutrients to prepare your body for a new day.

No wonder people living in villages or farms is healthier. They sleep early and wake up early. They follow their natural biological clock.

Living in city, we have more difficulty in following this sleeping schedule. We have good lighting, TV and internet to delay our precious sleeping time.

Follow your natural timetable.

What if you're offered a night shift job? I recommend you to reject it even if the salary is higher. For long term, you may need to spend more money for your health problems.

What if you have assignment to do until late at night? Well, why not sleep early and wake up earlier to do it? Just shift your work time from late night to early morning. You get the same time. But your body will appreciate it.

Try to follow this timing as close as possible. Make it your daily routine.

Thursday, June 9, 2016

Sub Consious mind!

In the movie _Taare Zameen Par_
The art teacher tells the rude and cursing father of the dyslexic kid about *Solomon Islands..*

In those islands, the tribal don’t cut down a tree. *They surround the tree and curse it for hours every day..*

Within a few weeks, the tree
dries up and becomes dead..

Many of us might find that example too difficult to believe. How can intangible and invisible thoughts and words kill a tree.!

Well, if you get to read Bruce H. Lipton’s THE BIOLOGY OF BELIEF, you won’t only believe in the Solomon Islands story, but would also think a dozen times before saying something demoralizing to yourself and the people you love..

In this book, Mr. Lipton tells in detail about the power of conscious and subconscious mind..

The subconscious mind is millions of times more powerful than the conscious mind, and decides most of the things in our lives according to the beliefs it has..

Many times we fail to change an unpleasant habit despite our will-power and consistent efforts..

It’s because the habit has been so strongly programmed in our subconscious mind that the efforts made by our conscious mind hardly make any difference.

*Conscious Mind is just a shadow*
*of our Unconscious Mind..*

So, when the tribals of Solomon Islands curse a tree, they are actually installing negative and harmful beliefs in the tree’s emotion (yes, trees do have emotions too).

Within few days, those negative emotions becomes a belief & eventually changes the molecular architecture of the tree and kill it from inside..

2500 years ago, when the Buddha said that *‘you are what you think',* he was not articulating a random philosophical theory.

Actually he was telling a scientific fact which is now proved correct by Quantum Physics and Molecular Biology.

While reading the book, u will recall how *Buddha had talked about subconscious mind and its unfathomable power over our lives..*

*He called it Alay Vigyan which means store consciousness..*

*This is the part of mind where all our beliefs and experiences are stored; and they dictate our life from there..*

The book has a special chapter on Conscious Parenting where it talks about the beneficial and harmful effects of what parents say to their children..

If you are a parent and you keep cursing your child in the name of constructive criticism, you are installing beliefs in their mind which will keep harming them forever..

But if you keep appreciating them in a sincere way, you are installing beliefs in their mind which will help then for their entire life..

And also be careful of what you keep saying to yourself.

Repetition of words and thoughts is the best way to install a belief in your subconscious mind..

If you keep saying you are a loser,
don’t be surprised if you become one within a few months or years..

And if you have friends who keep saying such things to you, there is no harm in saying a quick goodbye to them...

Thursday, April 28, 2016

Help yourself....

One day all the employees reached the office and saw a big advice written on the door.

"Yesterday the person who has been stopping your growth in this company passed away. You are invited to join the funeral."

In the beginning, they got sad for the death of one of their colleagues, but after a while they got curious to know who was the man who stopped their growth.

Everyone thought: 'Well at least the man who stopped my progress died!'

One by one the thrilled employees got closer to the coffin, and when they looked inside they were speechless. They stood shocked in silence, as if someone had touched the deepest part of their soul. There was a mirror inside the coffin and everyone who looked inside could see him/herself.

There was a sign next to the mirror that read:

"There is only one person who is capable to set limits to your growth...It is you. You are the only person who can influence your happiness, success and realization."

Your life does not change when your boss, friend or company changes.....your life changes when you change...you go beyond your limiting beliefs and you realize you are the only one responsible for your life.

It's the way you face life that makes the difference!

If an egg is broken from outside force....life ends but if it is broken from inside force life begins. Great things always begin from our inside...

Vegetarians

THERE ARE 6 TYPES OF VEGETARIANS IN INDIA:

(1) PURE VEGETARIAN

(2) ANDA KHA LETA HAI

(3) OMELETTE NAHI KHATHA LEKIN ANDEY KA CAKE HOGA TO KHA LETA HAI

(4) SIRF GRAVY KHA LETA HAI, PIECE NAHI KHATHA

(5) GHAR KE BAHAR KHA LETA LEKIN GHAR ME ALLOWED NAHI HAI.......and finally

(6) PEG MARTA HOON TO KHA LETA HU NAHI TO NAHI KHATA!!

Engineers....

Modern Truths

*** आधुनिक सच ***

मियां-बीबी दोनों मिल खूब कमाते हैं
तीस लाख का पैकेज दोनों ही पाते हैं
सुबह आठ बजे नौकरियों पर जाते हैं
रात ग्यारह तक ही वापिस आते हैं

अपने परिवारिक रिश्तों से कतराते हैं
अकेले रह कर वह कैरियर बनाते हैं
कोई कुछ मांग न ले वो मुंह छुपाते हैं
भीड़ में रहकर भी अकेले रह जाते हैं

मोटे वेतन की नौकरी छोड़ नहीं पाते हैं
अपने नन्हे मुन्ने को पाल नहीं पाते हैं
फुल टाइम की मेड ऐजेंसी से लाते हैं
उसी के जिम्मे वो बच्चा छोड़ जाते हैं

परिवार को उनका बच्चा नहीं जानता है
केवल आया'आंटी को ही पहचानता है
दादा -दादी, नाना-नानी कौन होते है?
अनजान है सबसे किसी को न मानता है

आया ही नहलाती है आया ही खिलाती है
टिफिन भी रोज़ रोज़ आया ही बनाती है
यूनिफार्म पहना के स्कूल कैब में बिठाती है
छुट्टी के बाद कैब से आया ही घर लाती है

नींद जब आती है तो आया ही सुलाती है
जैसी भी उसको आती है लोरी सुनाती है
उसे सुलाने में अक्सर वो भी सो जाती है
कभी जब मचलता है तो टीवी दिखाती है

जो टीचर मैम बताती है वही वो मानता है
देसी खाना छोड कर पीजा बर्गर खाता है
वीक ऐन्ड पर मौल में पिकनिक मनाता है
संडे की छुट्टी मौम-डैड के संग बिताता है

वक्त नहीं रुकता है तेजी से गुजर जाता है
वह स्कूल से निकल के कालेज में आता है
कान्वेन्ट में पढ़ने पर इंडिया कहाँ भाता है
आगे पढाई करने वह विदेश चला जाता है

वहाँ नये दोस्त बनते हैं उनमें रम जाता है
मां-बाप के पैसों से ही खर्चा चलाता है
धीरे-धीरे वहीं की संस्कृति में रंग जाता है
मौम डैड से रिश्ता पैसों का रह जाता है

कुछ दिन में उसे काम वहीं मिल जाता है
जीवन साथी शीघ्र ढूंढ वहीं बस जाता है
माँ बाप ने जो देखा ख्वाब वो टूट जाता है
बेटे के दिमाग में भी कैरियर रह जाता है

बुढ़ापे में माँ-बाप अब अकेले रह जाते हैं
जिनकी अनदेखी की उनसे आँखें चुराते हैं
क्यों इतना कमाया ये सोच के पछताते हैं
घुट घुट कर जीते हैं खुद से भी शरमाते हैं

हाथ पैर ढीले हो जाते, चलने में दुख पाते हैं
दाढ़- दाँत गिर जाते, मोटे चश्मे लग जाते हैं
कमर भी झुक जाती, कान नहीं सुन पाते हैं
वृद्धाश्रम में दाखिल हो, जिंदा ही मर जाते हैं

सोचना की बच्चे अपने लिए पैदा कर रहे हो या विदेश की सेवा के लिए।

बेटा एडिलेड में, बेटी है न्यूयार्क।
ब्राईट बच्चों के लिए, हुआ बुढ़ापा डार्क।

बेटा डालर में बंधा, सात समन्दर पार।
चिता जलाने बाप की, गए पड़ोसी चार।

ऑन लाईन पर हो गए, सारे लाड़ दुलार।
दुनियां छोटी हो गई, रिश्ते हैं बीमार।

बूढ़ा-बूढ़ी आँख में, भरते खारा नीर।
हरिद्वार के घाट की, सिडनी में तकदीर।

British Humor

A LITTLE BRITISH HUMOUR

The train was quite crowded, so a U. S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well dressed, middle-aged, French woman's poodle...

The war-weary Marine asked, 'Ma'am, may I have that seat?'

The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular 'Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat.'

The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog. 'Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired.

She snorted, 'Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!'

This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the little dog, threw it out of the train window, and sat down.

The woman shrieked, 'Someone must defend my honour! This American should be put in his place

An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, 'Sir, you Americans often seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong things. You live on the wrong side of the Ocean. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out of the window...!!

Biggest lies....

Biggest lies ever told in india..

😜Work hard and make sure you get a high score in class X. Your entire life and career depends on it.

😜Just work for 2 years in XI and XII. If you get in a good medical college/IITs/NITs/Law schools/DU etc., your life is set.

😜Start preparing for your PG/MBA/USMLE/UPSC/GRE/GMAT/GATE etc. otherwise your friend will get the job and you'll be left behind in the race. Once you're settled, you can enjoy as much as you want.

😜You're settled now and the only logical step is to get married. If you don't get married before 30, you'll be considered 'old' and your marriage prospects will diminish. You can enjoy later.

😜Since now you have kids, you need to earn more and work extra to secure their future. Once their future is secured, Your entire life is left for you to pursue your passions.

😜Now your kid is in class X and you start with the lies, all over again, thus completing the circle of life.

Topper friends

Arkya Chatterjee fom Kolkata topped HSC by scoring 99.75%.(499 out of 500)
These are the comments he got for the page that published it on facebook..
Don't blame me if you die laughing. Welcome to internet.

1. Don't publish this fact in newspaper. We have parents to answer

2. Itna to mere phone ka battery bhi charge nahi hota...

3. Ye ladka kalpanic hai iska vastav se koi sambandh nhi hai

4. Badhai ho....par aaj 8 saal ho gaye mere XII k results ko, aaj fir daant padi.

5. apsara pencil se likha hota to 0.25% bhi mil jate.........extra marks for good hand writing

6. Tu roadie nahi banega..U dont give ur 100% - Raghu

6. Mere purre graduation k 3 saal ka total bhi itna nai jitna tu ek exam mein laya hai kaminey..

7. Not a big deal...His tutor is Rajnikant

8. Congrats dude, you are the reason my parents have so many expectations.

9. Itna toh dettol, kitanu nai maarta...

10. See Arkya, i dnt knw wat tough times u wuld hav gone thru.. lekin beta is tarah se padhaai pe gussa nahi nikalte..!!

11. Main toh agar apna paper khud check karta toh bhi itna marks nahi la paata"

12) Itne marks me to Garib ke 3-3 bache pass ho jate hain

Why meditation is necessary

From the time of our birth till death the heart works continuosly.Everyday the heart pumps 7000 litres of blood ,of
which 70% blood is pumped to the brain and the remaining 30% to the rest of body.The blood is pumped through veins/arteries which are about more than 70,000 km long.
The strength required to pump the blood upto 42 ft high and weight of 1 tonne is generated by the heart everyday throught its work.

We take rest when we are tired but if the heart takes rests for 4-5 mins we will have to rest forever.

How does the heart work so much effeciently and effectively?

Heart works effectively because it follows a discipline. In normal conditions the heart takes 0.3 secs to contract (systole) and 0.5 secs to relax (diastole). So 0.3+0.5=0.8 secs are required by the heart to complte one beat (1 cardiac cycle).That means in 1 mn the heart beats 72 times which is considered as normal heart beat.
During the relaxing phase of 0.5 secs the impure blood travels through the lungs and becomes 100 % pure.

In some stressful conditions the body demands more blood in less time and in this situation the heart reduces the relaxing period of 0.5 secs to 0.4 secs.Thus in this case the heart beats 82 times in 1min and only 80% of blood gets purified.
On more n more demand the relaxing time is further reduced to 0.3 secs then only 60% of blood is purified.
Thus 20-40% of impure blood is pumped in the veins/ arteries.These impure components (cholestrol/lipid) gets deposited on the walls of arteries/ veins and thus the elastic nature of the veins and the arteries is lost. So they become plastic in nature.

After some time due to the above conditions the veins/arteries become rigid. Now if a blood clot travels through the veins/ arteries ( which in normal conditions gets easily passed away due to the elastic nature earlier) gets blocked and resists blood flow in that area.
This results in a blockage which further results in Heart Attack.

From the above discussion we realise that the main reason for the heart problems is the increase demand of blood by the brain and the body.
When the activity of brain is stimulated it demands more amount of blood than that of normal conditions.

To stimulate the activity of brain 25-30% of diet we take is responsible whereas the remaining 70-75% is due to the thinking, emotions, attitude, memories and other processes of the brain.

So those who want to keep their heart working effectively for a long period of time they should protect themselves from - worries, anger, sadness, emotional n sensitive behavior, stress and hurry .

To protect ourselves from the above few things there is no MEDICATION available
So the only option is
MEDITATION.

Womanhood - lessons from Buddha

When I heard the story of Gautam Buddha, my question was always about his wife and son that he left behind...this write-up by Vikram Bhattacharya touches that part of the story
---------------

He left her in the middle of the night, the night their son was
born. When she heard the news
she was devastated.

Yet, she did not complain but her
life lost all meaning. The only
reason for her to live now was
her son. She wanted him to grow
up to be a man that the world
would look up to.

Her friends and relatives came
around and asked her to forget
about the man who had left her
and start life again.

They asked her to marry again
but she refused. She was young
& beautiful & suitors queued up
outside her door, but she refused each one of them.

Then one fine day he came back !

He stood in front of her and she could hardly remember him as the man who had left her. “They call you the Buddha now?” she asked him gently.

“I hear they do,” he answered in
a calm fashion.

“What does it mean?” she further inquired.

“I think it means the enlightened one, a knower,” he informed.

She smiled and then a silence.
“I suppose we have both learned something. Your lessons O Buddha, will make the world richer in spirit, but my lesson will unfortunately remain largely unknown.”
she reflected deeply....

“ And what lesson is that ? ”
The Buddha probed.

Her eyes sparkled with unshed tears, “That a courageous woman does not need anyone to complete her.....
SHE IS COMPLETE ON HER OWN ”

Saluting womanhood for the Yashodhara spirit. !!!

The Darwin's are out!

Yes, it's that magical time of year when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the "least evolved" among us .

Here Is The Glorious Winner:
1. When his .38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

And Now, The Honorable Mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6.. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed ?

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast... The frustrated gunman walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street by sucking on a hose, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had and the perp had been punished enough!

In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with friends and family.... unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case, be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.

*****Remember*****
They walk among us; they can reproduce. And they can actually vote !!!!

Be on guard !!!!!!

Friday, February 12, 2016

Command line Linux

http://linoxide.com/guide/linux-command-shelf.html

Thursday, February 4, 2016

Senior Citizens special...

This is a senior citizen special . . .

An elderly gentleman.....
Had serious hearing problems for a number of years.. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect...... Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again..'
The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet.
I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'

------
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'
Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'
'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

--------

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great.. I would recommend it very highly.'
The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'
The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?
You know.... The one that's red and has thorns.'
'Do you mean a rose?'
'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'

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Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.
On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.'

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Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember ..
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
'Sure..'
'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.
'No, I can remember it.'
'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so not to forget it?'
He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.
Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.. She stares at the plate for a moment.
'Where's my toast ?'

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A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
'So I hear you're getting married?'
'Yep!'
'Do I know her?'
'Nope!'
'This woman, is she good looking?'
'Not really.'
'Is she a good cook?'
'Naw, she can't cook too well.'
'Does she have lots of money?'
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'
'Well, then, is she good in bed?'
'I don't know.'
'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'
'Because she can still drive!'

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Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer..'

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Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'

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One more. . .!

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'

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Monday, January 18, 2016

Meditation - basic guide