Psychological aspects at play when one has to take decision of PMR and how to go about it
By Amit Sangwan
1. Decision to take Premature release as they call in army or premature separation from service as they call in air force is an easy one.Yes no error here it's an easy one.
2. But for this to be an easy one there has to be a sense of clarity in the individual concerned. In this write up I will try to cover up various aspects influencing this decision. Also this is primarily for superseded officers. And not to demotivate the stars.So please read it, keeping this in mind.
3. One of the foremost reasons for officers in armed forces to think of quitting is supersession or knowing for sure that next rank may not come. Other reasons may be spouse career, stability , children education, parents health etc. But normally it's seen that these factors come in play only once the career advancement is sealed. Rare to see officers on path of becoming 2 or 3 stars leaving early.
4. Mostly the fate of people is sealed by 18 years of service. For some hon haar guys it happens even earlier.
5. It requires a minimum of 1 year for an intelligent person to plan his exit. For lesser mortals it will take a maximum of 3 years. So if at 18 years your decision taken then 20 to 21 years of service is what one can leave.
6. It has to be understood that continuing after supersession is like being in a bad marriage. There is no mutual trust, love, respect and affection.
Only reason one gives for continuing is for kids sake. But actual reason is inability to come out of comfort zone.
7. Actually it's not even comfort zone. Situation is bad . It's just one get used to it so much that it starts appearing comfortable.
One should never compromise with self esteem.
8. In life events can be a failure. Like you may fail an exam or miss a promotion board. But a person can never be a failure unless he make an event happening in life as life itself. Some one dimensional guys who have not mentally engaged themselves in various other facets of life ,find it difficult to take this decision.
9. For people knowing aviation there is an example conveying this subtle message.
In fighter flying in case you fly a single engine fighter and the engine stops or flames out. There are set cut off heights below which you eject instantaneously. Those cut off s are ingrained as second nature as time available can be less than second. Same cut off can be there in our lives.
10. Bare minimums in life. If they are triggered then decision is taken instantly. It requires purposeful and conscious living.
11. Now coming back to decision making aspect.There is no financial incentive to work after 20 years . It is big article in itself and I am working on it.But right now please take my word for it. Only problem is cash flow issues which come immediately after retirement for few months.
12. They can be easily overcome with help of an expert like me that too free for friends and coursemates. There are not enough of them focussing on faujis.
13. Even situations where officer has loan pending and a property in Greater Noida or Mohali which is stuck can be overcome. These 2 are my favourite example because as per my estimates about 25 percent can't take PMR because this specific reason.
14. Other reason is getting stuck with Carriapa Vihar in Delhi seperated accomadation where memsaab is teaching in a school and our guy is going from one hard area to other so that house stays. This they say is for kids sake. This is just an example the city may change but template stays.
15. Above template is misery. I have expertise on this issue. If somebody following or wanting to follow above example pls contact. I will tell the pitfalls and devastating effects of above arrangement.
16. Now some actionable points. We are average of 5 people whom we chose to spend are maximum time with.
So choose your company wisely.
17. Some traits which if you have then it will not be easy to leave fauj. I am not saying that these traits are bad or people having them are not good. It's just that if you have more than 50 percent of following it will be that much tougher.
a) You drink alcohol daily.
b) You associate too much with tag of being fauji. Small issues in media vis a vis fauj raise your blood.
c) You look forward to perks of Sahayak,gaadi ,guest room , party etc.
d) Your spouse has never worked. Doesnt want to work. Or doesn't have the qualification for any kind of jobs.
e) You do not own a house anywhere .
f) You have bought more than 2 cars in last 15 years.
g) You don't know sip n S.I.P. mean different.
h) You have had lot of liabilities with respect to family.
j) Whatever friends you have are fauji n coursemates n unit types only.
k) You don't have a mentor in your life.ie a person whom you could look for advice and suggestions.
l) Your wife doesn't get along with your parents and also you are not hot favourite damaad of your in laws.
m) Articles like this are bullshit for you.
n) You don't read books.Like not even one in a month.
o) You love to play golf.
p) You feel bad about Money. And identify with statements like Money is not everything. Friends are what one require in life.just notice I have put capital M in Money.
q) You have never played Monopoly
r) You have not read the book Rich Dad Poor Dad.
18. From above you can learn that make your relationships stronger and better if you want to leave. Don't spend time drinking on weekends with people who add no value in your life.That is not enjoyment.In 40 s when you want to leave that is biggest waste of time you can do.
19. This luxury only for officers who are doing well and are here to stay till 56 or 60 yrs. They are doing their networking to grow in service. Their company will not help cause of people wanting to leave. Avoid them even if they are friends. Reconnect with them later on once you are settled outside.
20. Biggest psychological reason preventing in taking this step of PMR has it's origin in first and second term of NDA.
If we remember our end of term during those days,the time spent in room of senior pal or hiding in science block escaping the screw in squadron was considered smartness. But after 20 years if some one feels he is not doing much and tankha is good and time pass ho raha hai.
Such though is foolishness. Because in NDA there was a goal and growth was there every 6 months.
21. Doing this at 20 years is not passing time but wasting life.
So if you get psychology right then the finance can be worked subsequently.
22. If you connect with above and have specific issues to be addressed especially how to go exactly go about I will like to help. But only on WhatsApp mssg. As time schedule is packed.
23. All others who are doing well please continue on this journey and be the change you wanted to always bring.
24. In subsequent articles I will be focussing on the financial aspects of this process. Earlier you work on it ,easier it will be. Also I am not advocating any job after retirement. You can do without that. More on that in next article.
Feed back welcome.But don't destroy or troll. As effort goes in thinking and writing.
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