Dedicated to all our Bangalore friends

(got as a forward on the email :-)

1. If you throw a stone randomly in Bangalore, chances are, it will hit a dog or a software engineer. While the dog may or may not have a strap (a.k.a. leash) around his neck, the software engineer will definitely have one.

2. In India we drive on the left of the road. In Bangalore, we drive on what is left of the road.

3. Q: What is the easiest way of causing traffic accidents in Bangalore?
A: Follow the traffic rules.

4. "A guy is house hunting in Bangalore. Meets old lady who is potential landlord. The conversation goes thus:Old lady: Where do you work for, son?
Guy (with an air of pompousness): I work in Infosys.
Old lady: Oh, that bus company! Sorry, we rent only to good IT people.
(It would appear that Infosys operates more buses than BMTC in Bangalore.)

5. Bangalore, where PG(Paying Guest) is the first business and IT, the second.

6. When someone says it is raining in Bangalore, be sure to ask them which area, which Main and which Cross.

7. If a Bangalorean stops at a traffic light, others behind him stop too because the others conclude that he has spotted a policeman that they themselves have not.

8. Bangalore is the only city where distance is measured in units of time.

9. Auto rickshaw driver, grocery seller and common shop keeper think that you earn at least 1 lakh per month if you are in IT sector.

10. Out of every 100 software engineers in Bangalore, 90 are utterly frustrated and rest have a girlfriend.

11. Bus drivers use the horn instead of the brakes.

12. I quote : "Bangalore: The City where more people know Language C than Kanada or Hindi".

13. Since it is easier to find an alcohol shop than a medicine shop in Bengaluru, the doctors have now started prescribing "dawa-daaru" for treatment.

Purpose of human life

Once a group of 50 people was attending a
seminar. Suddenly the speaker stopped and decided to do a group activity.

He started giving each one a balloon. Each one was asked to write his/her name on it using a marker pen. Then all the balloons were collected and put in another room.

Now these delegates were let in that room and asked to find the balloon which had their name written, within 5 minutes. Everyone was frantically searching for their name, colliding with each other, pushing around others and there was utter chaos.  At the end of 5 minutes no one could find their own balloon.

Now each one was asked to randomly collect a balloon and give it to the person whose name was written on it. Within minutes everyone had their own balloon.

The speaker began— exactly this is happening in our lives. Everyone is frantically looking happiness all around, not knowing where it is.

Our happiness lies in the happiness of other people. Give them their happiness; you will get your own happiness. And this is the purpose of human life

Fabulous English

George Carlin: Brilliant stuff!

 

 

A clip which is guaranteed to give you 9.1 minutes of laughter! Enjoy.

 

 

FABULOUS ENGLISH  FOR THOSE WHO SPEAK WELL!!

 

Political correctness gone berserk

 

 

  Click >>>>>Carlin

5 Principles of Indian Spirituality

The Five Principles of Indian Spirituality / Way of thinking .This is the principle as per various scriptures.It has nothing to do with any religion.

The First Principle states: 
“Every Person you encounter is the right one” 

No one comes into our life by chance. Everyone who is around us, every person with whom we interact, has a defined purpose - whether to teach us something, or to help us cope with a current situation. 

The Second Principle states: 

“Whatever has happened, is the only thing that could have happened” 
Nothing, absolutely nothing of that which we experienced could have been any other way. Not even in the least important detail. There is no “If only I had done that differently…, then it would have been different…”. What happened is the only thing that could have taken place. Every single situation in life which we encounter is absolutely perfect, even when it defies our understanding and our ego. 

The Third Principle states: 

“Each Moment in which something begins is the right moment” 
Everything begins at exactly the right moment, neither earlier nor later.When we are ready for it, for that something new in our life, it will be there - ready to begin. "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear": The Buddha 


The Fourth Principle states : 
“What is Over, is Over” 

When something in our life ends, it helps our evolution. That is why, enriched by each recent experience, it is better to let go of the past and move on. 


The Fifth and Final Principle states: 
"Nothing Is Permanent" 
This is a Universal Truth. Nothing in our lives is Eternal. Everything will change – some things earlier, some things later, but change is inevitable.

Lessons from a Japanese story

A 15 year old boy decided to study judo despite the fact that he had lost his left arm in a devastating car accident.

The boy began lessons with an old Japanese judo master. The boy was doing well, so he couldn't understand why, after three months of training the master had taught him only one move.

"Sensei,"(Teacher in Japanese) the boy finally said, "Shouldn't I be learning more moves?" "This is the only move you'll ever need to know," the sensei replied.

Not quite understanding, but fully believing in his teacher, the boy kept training. Several months later, the sensei took the boy to his first tournament.

Surprising himself, the boy easily won his first two matches. The third match proved to be more difficult, but after some time, his opponent became impatient and charged; the boy deftly used his one move to win the match. Still amazed by his success, the boy was now in the finals.

This time, his opponent was bigger, stronger, and more experienced. For a while, the boy appeared to be overmatched. Concerned that the boy might get hurt, the referee called a time-out.

He was about to stop the match when the sensei intervened. "No," the sensei insisted, "Let him continue." Soon after the match resumed, his opponent made a critical mistake: he dropped his guard. Instantly, the boy used his move to pin him. The boy had won the match and the tournament.

On the way home, the boy and sensei reviewed every move in each and every match. Then the boy summoned the courage to ask what was really on his mind.

"Sensei, how did I win the tournament with only one move?"

"You won for two reasons," the sensei answered. "First, you've almost mastered one of the most difficult throws in all of judo. And second, the only known defense for that move is for your opponent to grab your left arm."

The boy's biggest weakness had become his biggest strength...

Sometimes we feel that we have certain weaknesses and we blame our circumstances or ourselves for it but we never know that our weaknesses can become our strengths one day.
"Each of us is special and important, so never think you have any weakness, never think of pride or pain, just live your life to its fullest and extract the best out of it!"

 

CHEERS...

Indians Robbing Banks in US

Why people from India don't rob banks! 
 click on below....
 This will get you laughing

The story of a pencil

This is an article which was written by Paulo Coelho in his book "Like the Flowing River".
 

A boy was watching his grandmother write a letter. At one point he asked: ‘Are you writing a story about what we’ve done? Is it a story about me?’

 

His grandmother stopped writing her letter and said to her grandson: 'I am writing about you, actually, but more important than the words is the pencil I’m using. I hope you will be like this pencil when you grow up.’

 

Intrigued, the boy looked at the pencil. It didn’t seem very special.

‘But it’s just like any other pencil I’ve ever seen!’

 

‘That depends on how you look at things. It has five qualities which, if you manage to hang on them, it will make you a person who is always at peace with the world.’

 

‘First quality: You are capable of great things, but you must never forget that there is a hand guiding your steps. We call that hand God, and He always guides us according to His will.’

 

‘Second quality: Now and then, I have to stop writing and use a sharpner. That makes the pencil suffer a little, but afterwards, he’s much sharper. So you, too, must learn to bear certain pains and sorrows, because they will make you a better person.

 

‘Third quality: The pencil always allows us to use an eraser to rub out any mistakes. This means that correcting something we did is not necessarily a bad thing; it helps to keep us on the road to justice.’

 

‘Fourth quality: What really matters in a pencil is not its wooden exterior, but the graphite inside. So always pay attention to what is happening inside you.’

 

‘Finally, the pencil’s fifth quality: It always leaves a mark. in just the same way, you should know that everything you do in life will leave a mark, so try to be conscious of that in your every action’.

 

Now replacing the place of the pencil with you. Always remember them and never forget, and you will become the best person you can be.

One: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in God's hand. And allow other human beings to access you for the many gifts you possess.

Two: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, by going through various problems in life, but you'll need it to become a stronger person.

Three: You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make.

Four: The most important part of you will always be what's on the inside &

Five: On every surface you walk through, you must leave your mark. No matter what the situation, you must continue to do your duties.

Allow this parable on the pencil to encourage you to know that you are a special person and only you can fulfill the purpose to which you were born to accomplish.

Never allow yourself to get discouraged and think that your life is insignificant and cannot make a change.

Great truths lie in simple things… I want to be a pencil… do you?