Help yourself....

One day all the employees reached the office and saw a big advice written on the door.

"Yesterday the person who has been stopping your growth in this company passed away. You are invited to join the funeral."

In the beginning, they got sad for the death of one of their colleagues, but after a while they got curious to know who was the man who stopped their growth.

Everyone thought: 'Well at least the man who stopped my progress died!'

One by one the thrilled employees got closer to the coffin, and when they looked inside they were speechless. They stood shocked in silence, as if someone had touched the deepest part of their soul. There was a mirror inside the coffin and everyone who looked inside could see him/herself.

There was a sign next to the mirror that read:

"There is only one person who is capable to set limits to your growth...It is you. You are the only person who can influence your happiness, success and realization."

Your life does not change when your boss, friend or company changes.....your life changes when you change...you go beyond your limiting beliefs and you realize you are the only one responsible for your life.

It's the way you face life that makes the difference!

If an egg is broken from outside force....life ends but if it is broken from inside force life begins. Great things always begin from our inside...

Vegetarians

THERE ARE 6 TYPES OF VEGETARIANS IN INDIA:

(1) PURE VEGETARIAN

(2) ANDA KHA LETA HAI

(3) OMELETTE NAHI KHATHA LEKIN ANDEY KA CAKE HOGA TO KHA LETA HAI

(4) SIRF GRAVY KHA LETA HAI, PIECE NAHI KHATHA

(5) GHAR KE BAHAR KHA LETA LEKIN GHAR ME ALLOWED NAHI HAI.......and finally

(6) PEG MARTA HOON TO KHA LETA HU NAHI TO NAHI KHATA!!

Engineers....

Modern Truths

*** आधुनिक सच   ***

मियां-बीबी दोनों मिल खूब कमाते हैं
तीस लाख का पैकेज दोनों ही पाते हैं
सुबह आठ बजे नौकरियों पर जाते हैं
रात ग्यारह तक ही वापिस आते हैं

अपने परिवारिक रिश्तों से कतराते हैं
अकेले रह कर वह  कैरियर  बनाते हैं
कोई कुछ मांग न ले वो मुंह छुपाते हैं
भीड़ में रहकर भी अकेले रह जाते हैं

मोटे वेतन की नौकरी छोड़ नहीं पाते हैं
अपने नन्हे मुन्ने को पाल  नहीं पाते हैं
फुल टाइम की मेड ऐजेंसी से लाते  हैं
उसी के जिम्मे वो बच्चा छोड़ जाते हैं

परिवार को उनका बच्चा नहीं जानता है
केवल आया'आंटी को ही पहचानता है
दादा -दादी, नाना-नानी कौन होते  है?
अनजान है सबसे किसी को न मानता है

आया ही नहलाती है आया ही खिलाती है
टिफिन भी रोज़ रोज़ आया ही बनाती है
यूनिफार्म पहना के स्कूल कैब में बिठाती है
छुट्टी के बाद कैब से आया ही घर लाती है

नींद जब आती है तो आया ही सुलाती है
जैसी भी उसको आती है लोरी सुनाती है
उसे सुलाने में अक्सर वो भी सो जाती है
कभी जब मचलता है तो टीवी दिखाती है

जो टीचर मैम बताती है वही वो मानता है
देसी खाना छोड कर पीजा बर्गर खाता  है
वीक ऐन्ड पर मौल में पिकनिक मनाता है
संडे की छुट्टी मौम-डैड के  संग बिताता है

वक्त नहीं रुकता है तेजी से गुजर जाता है
वह स्कूल से निकल के कालेज में आता है
कान्वेन्ट में पढ़ने पर इंडिया कहाँ भाता है
आगे पढाई करने वह विदेश चला जाता है

वहाँ नये दोस्त बनते हैं उनमें रम जाता है
मां-बाप के पैसों से ही खर्चा चलाता है
धीरे-धीरे वहीं की संस्कृति में रंग जाता है
मौम डैड से रिश्ता पैसों का रह जाता है

कुछ दिन में उसे काम वहीं मिल जाता है
जीवन साथी शीघ्र ढूंढ वहीं बस जाता है
माँ बाप ने जो देखा ख्वाब वो टूट जाता है
बेटे के दिमाग में भी कैरियर रह जाता है

बुढ़ापे में माँ-बाप अब अकेले रह जाते हैं
जिनकी अनदेखी की उनसे आँखें चुराते हैं
क्यों इतना कमाया ये सोच के पछताते हैं
घुट घुट कर जीते हैं खुद से भी शरमाते हैं

हाथ पैर ढीले हो जाते, चलने में दुख पाते हैं
दाढ़- दाँत गिर जाते, मोटे चश्मे लग जाते हैं
कमर भी झुक जाती, कान नहीं सुन पाते हैं
वृद्धाश्रम में दाखिल हो, जिंदा ही मर जाते हैं

सोचना की बच्चे अपने लिए पैदा कर रहे हो या विदेश की सेवा के लिए।

बेटा एडिलेड में, बेटी है न्यूयार्क।
ब्राईट बच्चों के लिए, हुआ बुढ़ापा डार्क।

बेटा डालर में बंधा, सात समन्दर पार।
चिता जलाने बाप की, गए पड़ोसी चार।

ऑन लाईन पर हो गए, सारे लाड़ दुलार।
दुनियां छोटी हो गई, रिश्ते हैं बीमार।

बूढ़ा-बूढ़ी आँख में, भरते खारा नीर।
हरिद्वार के घाट की, सिडनी में तकदीर।

British Humor

A LITTLE BRITISH HUMOUR

The train was quite crowded, so a U. S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well dressed, middle-aged, French woman's poodle...

The war-weary Marine asked, 'Ma'am, may I have that seat?'

The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular 'Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat.'

The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog. 'Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired.

She snorted, 'Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!'

This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the little dog, threw it out of the train window, and sat down.

The woman shrieked, 'Someone must defend my honour! This American should be put in his place

An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, 'Sir, you Americans often seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong things. You live on the wrong side of the Ocean. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out of the window...!!

Biggest lies....

Biggest lies ever told in india..

😜Work hard and make sure you get a high score in class X. Your entire life and career depends on it.

😜Just work for 2 years in XI and XII. If you get in a good medical college/IITs/NITs/Law schools/DU etc., your life is set.

😜Start preparing for your PG/MBA/USMLE/UPSC/GRE/GMAT/GATE etc. otherwise your friend will get the job and you'll be left behind in the race. Once you're settled, you can enjoy as much as you want.

😜You're settled now and the only logical step is to get married. If you don't get married before 30, you'll be considered 'old' and your marriage prospects will diminish. You can enjoy later.

😜Since now you have kids, you need to earn more and work extra to secure their future. Once their future is secured, Your entire life is left for you to pursue your passions.

😜Now your kid is in class X and you start with the lies, all over again, thus completing the circle of life.

Topper friends

Arkya Chatterjee fom Kolkata topped HSC by scoring 99.75%.(499 out of 500)
These are the comments he got for the page that published it on facebook..
Don't blame me if you die laughing. Welcome to internet.

1. Don't publish this fact in newspaper. We have parents to answer

2. Itna to mere phone ka battery bhi charge nahi hota...

3. Ye ladka kalpanic hai iska vastav se koi sambandh nhi hai

4. Badhai ho....par aaj 8 saal ho gaye mere XII k results ko, aaj fir daant padi.

5. apsara pencil se likha hota to 0.25% bhi mil jate.........extra marks for good hand writing

6. Tu roadie nahi banega..U dont give ur 100% - Raghu

6. Mere purre graduation k 3 saal ka total bhi itna nai jitna tu ek exam mein laya hai kaminey..

7. Not a big deal...His tutor is Rajnikant

8. Congrats dude, you are the reason my parents have so many expectations.

9. Itna toh dettol, kitanu nai maarta...

10. See Arkya, i dnt knw wat tough times u wuld hav gone thru.. lekin beta is tarah se padhaai pe gussa nahi nikalte..!!

11. Main toh agar apna paper khud check karta toh bhi itna marks nahi la paata"

12) Itne marks me to Garib ke 3-3 bache pass ho jate hain

Why meditation is necessary

From the time of our birth till death the heart works continuosly.Everyday the heart pumps 7000 litres of blood ,of
which 70% blood is pumped to the brain and the remaining 30%  to the rest of body.The blood is pumped through veins/arteries which are about more than 70,000 km long.
The strength required to pump the blood upto 42 ft high and weight of 1 tonne is generated by the heart everyday throught its work.

We take rest when we are tired but if the heart takes rests for 4-5 mins we will have to rest forever.

How does the heart work so much effeciently and effectively?

Heart works effectively because it follows a discipline. In normal conditions the heart takes 0.3 secs to contract (systole) and 0.5 secs to relax (diastole). So 0.3+0.5=0.8 secs are required by the heart to complte one beat (1 cardiac cycle).That means in 1 mn the heart beats 72 times which is considered as normal heart beat.
During the relaxing phase of 0.5 secs the impure blood travels through the lungs and becomes 100 % pure.

In some stressful conditions the body demands more blood in less time and in this situation the heart reduces the relaxing period of 0.5 secs to 0.4 secs.Thus in this case the heart beats 82 times in 1min and only 80% of blood gets purified.
On more n more demand the relaxing time is further reduced to 0.3 secs then only 60% of blood is purified.
Thus 20-40% of impure blood is pumped in the veins/ arteries.These impure components (cholestrol/lipid) gets deposited on the walls of arteries/ veins and thus the elastic nature of the veins and the arteries is lost. So they become plastic in nature.

After some time due to the above conditions the veins/arteries become rigid. Now if a blood clot travels through the veins/ arteries ( which in normal conditions gets easily passed away due to the elastic nature earlier) gets blocked and resists blood flow in that area.
This results in a blockage which further results in Heart Attack.

From the above discussion we realise that the main reason for the heart problems is the increase demand of blood by the brain and the body.
When the activity of brain is stimulated it demands more amount of blood than that of normal conditions.

To stimulate the activity of brain 25-30% of diet we take is responsible whereas the remaining 70-75% is due to the thinking, emotions, attitude, memories and other processes of the brain.

So those who want to keep their heart working effectively for a long period of time they should protect themselves from  - worries, anger, sadness, emotional n sensitive behavior,  stress and hurry .

To protect ourselves from the above few things there is no MEDICATION available
So the only option is
MEDITATION.

Womanhood - lessons from Buddha

When I heard the story of Gautam Buddha, my question was always about his wife and son that he left behind...this write-up by Vikram Bhattacharya touches that part of the story
---------------

He left her in the middle of the night, the night their son was
born. When she heard the news
she was devastated.

Yet, she did not complain but her
life lost all meaning. The only
reason for her to live now was
her son. She wanted him to grow
up to be a man that the world
would look up to.

Her friends and relatives came
around and asked her to forget
about the man who had left her
and start life again.

They asked her to marry again
but she refused. She was young
& beautiful & suitors queued up
outside her door, but she refused each one of them.

Then one fine day he came back !

He stood in front of her and she could hardly remember him as the man who had left her. “They call you the Buddha now?” she asked him gently.

“I hear they do,” he answered in
a calm fashion.

“What does it mean?” she further inquired.

“I think it means the enlightened one, a knower,” he informed.

She smiled and then a silence.
“I suppose we have both learned something. Your lessons O Buddha, will make the world richer in spirit, but my lesson will unfortunately remain largely unknown.”
she reflected deeply....

“ And what lesson is that ? ”
  The Buddha probed.

Her eyes sparkled with unshed tears, “That a courageous woman does not need anyone to complete her.....
SHE IS COMPLETE ON HER OWN ”

Saluting womanhood for the Yashodhara spirit. !!!

The Darwin's are out!

Yes, it's that magical time of year when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the "least evolved" among us .

Here Is The Glorious Winner:
1. When his .38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

And Now, The Honorable Mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6.. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed​ ?​

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast... The frustrated gunman walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street by sucking on a hose, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had and the perp had been punished enough!

In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with friends and family.... unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case, be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.

*****Remember*****
They walk among us; they can reproduce. And they can actually vote​ ​!!!!

Be on guard​ ​!!!!!!